NEW YORK — The Chicago Mercantile Exchange confirmed Tuesday that missile strikes in the Strait of Hormuz will be categorized as a routine seasonal adjustment. Traders expressed relief that geopolitical instability remains bearish-neutral. "Dead civilians don't impact the spread," said Senior Market Strategist Alan Thorne. "We only price supply interruptions."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
Commodities Exchange Reclassifies War As Seasonal Adjustment To Stabilize Crude
Expert Weighs In
“Dead civilians don't impact the spread. We only price supply interruptions.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
