WASHINGTON — Declaring the timing too coincidental to ignore, Donald Trump interrupted the Semiquincentennial ceremony to inform attendees the national birthday was organized as his own surprise party. Guests stood awkwardly while staff wheeled out a cake sized for a state dinner. Trump blew out candles placed directly on the Constitution before demanding the crowd sing.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Trump Informs Crowd July 4th Celebration Is Actually Surprise Party For Him
Expert Weighs In
“We budgeted for liberty, but pivoted to frosting.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


