BRUSSELS — President Trump announced Thursday that Greenland will be seized as collateral until NATO members settle outstanding protection fees. Spain was identified as delinquent. Sovereign land is acceptable currency. The U.S. will retain possession until payment clears. "It's just business," said Chief of Staff Susie Wiles. "If you bounce the check, we take the house."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Trump Demands Greenland As Collateral For Unpaid NATO Dues
Expert Weighs In
“If you bounce the check, we take the house.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


