WASHINGTON — The State Department confirmed that Sen. Marco Rubio has assumed direct managerial oversight of Venezuela's public transit grid. Officials described the nation as 'functionally a subsidiary' requiring daily performance reviews. 'We treat them like a branch office,' said Deputy Assistant Secretary Alan Kress. 'If Caracas misses Q3 targets, we liquidate assets.'
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
State Department Confirms Rubio Now Signing Off On Caracas Bus Schedules
Expert Weighs In
“We treat them like a branch office. If Caracas misses Q3 targets, we liquidate assets.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
