WASHINGTON — The Trump Administration announced Tuesday that all NIH grant disbursements now require final research conclusions to be drafted by the President prior to data collection. Officials said the change prevents wasteful spending on uncertain outcomes. Scientists noted the policy effectively mandates hallucinating results to secure funding.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
Trump Administration Requires Scientists Submit Conclusions Before Data Collection
Expert Weighs In
“Accuracy is a variable; compliance is a constant.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
