WASHINGTON—The State Department confirmed Rubio's disappearing messages were a sanctioned trial of "zero-retention diplomacy." Officials said maintaining official records was deemed "administratively burdensome." "We realized accountability is a file format we stopped supporting," said Records Management Director Alan Hess. "If nothing is written down, nobody can subpoena it. It is optimal efficiency."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

State Department Reclassifies Rubio's Deleted Chats As Zero-Retention Diplomacy
Expert Weighs In
“We realized accountability is a file format we stopped supporting. If nothing is written down, nobody can subpoena it. It is optimal efficiency.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


