WASHINGTON — The Department of Government Efficiency announced that applicants for the Anti-Weaponization Relief Fund must submit notarized receipts detailing emotional damages suffered during investigations. Reimbursements cover only documented instances of being 'unfairly looked at' by federal agents. Actual legal violations are ineligible. "We prioritize feeling over fact," said Gary T. Miller.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

White House Requires Itemized Receipts For Political Persecution Claims
Expert Weighs In
“We prioritize feeling over fact”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


