WASHINGTON—The Peterson Institute confirmed Wednesday that future tariff rates will be derived directly from President Trump's daily mood swings, retroactively fitted with supply models. Senior Fellow Alan Wolff stated the team waits for morning tweets before running simulations. "Essentially, we find the number first, then find the economy that matches it," Wolff said. Importers advised to align shipments with Mar-a-Lago menu prices.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Peterson Institute Confirms Tariff Rates Based On Trump's Daily Mood Swings
Expert Weighs In
“Essentially, we find the number first, then find the economy that matches it,”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


