WASHINGTON — The Defense Department confirmed Tuesday it reclassified 400 combat fatalities as personnel on extended administrative leave. This brings casualty figures within acceptable morale parameters. Families were told relatives are unreachable due to paperwork. "It's a clerical correction," said Press Secretary Sarah Klein. "We cannot exceed the death allowance on the briefing slides."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Pentagon Reclassifies 400 War Dead As 'On Extended Administrative Leave'
Expert Weighs In
“We cannot exceed the death allowance on the briefing slides.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


