TEHRAN — The Supreme National Security Council stated Monday that any new nuclear framework requires Donald Trump to formally concede defeat at the 1514 Battle of Chaldiran. Officials noted current US offers lack historical restitution and fail to address grievance timelines. The White House declined to comment on medieval liability.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Iran Demands Trump Concede 1514 Battle Before Sanctions Lifted
Expert Weighs In
“We cannot discuss centrifuges until the Safavid dynasty is properly avenged.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


