WASHINGTON — Confirming the event's primary utility, Netanyahu and Zelenskyy arrived Tuesday prepared to submit itemized requests for military aid during the eulogy queue. Staffers confirmed the open casket period was designated for reviewing aid packages while Trump promised to hear pleas only after the benediction. "We brought the invoices," said Ukrainian Economic Advisor Igor Volyn. "Grief is fleeting, but appropriations are forever."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Foreign Leaders Treat Graham Funeral As Billable Lobbying Window
Expert Weighs In
“We brought the invoices”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


