WASHINGTON — The Pentagon confirmed Tuesday that all troop deployments will now align directly with the President's documented attention span. Officials stated that long-term conflicts are unsustainable past the twenty-minute mark. "If he changes the channel, we withdraw," said a Senior National Security Official. "Strategy requires focus we simply do not have."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
Pentagon Confirms Troop Deployments Now Tied To President's Attention Span
Expert Weighs In
“Strategy requires focus we simply do not have.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
