WASHINGTON — Sen. Lindsey Graham finalized his funeral arrangements Tuesday to ensure Donald Trump delivers the eulogy before the 2028 primary. Aides confirmed Graham selected a casket color that polls well in South Carolina. The Senator considers his corpse a viable voting bloc. "It's about maximizing the news cycle," said Senior Advisor John Weaver.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Graham Finalizes Funeral To Secure Trump Eulogy Slot
Expert Weighs In
“It's about maximizing the news cycle”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


