WASHINGTON — GOP strategists requested a brief extension of hostilities with Iran, citing unfinished email sequences targeting donors. Trump agreed to pause signing until the party maxes out its credit card. "We need the threat level to stay at 'Severe' until Tuesday," said RNC Finance Chair Glen Ashford. "The peace treaty kills our open-rate metrics."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

GOP Hawks Request Two-Week Extension On Iran Crisis To Meet Q4 Fundraising Goals
Expert Weighs In
“The peace treaty kills our open-rate metrics.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


