NEW YORK — The MTA confirmed the $8 billion Penn Station renovation will feature 40-foot gold lettering visible from orbit, ensuring commuters miss their trains while admiring the branding. Architects stated the vaulted ceilings were designed solely to amplify the echo of the name. "Commuter safety was classified as secondary to brand visibility," said Project Lead Alan Sternglass.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Penn Station Remodel Prioritizes Legibility Of Trump Signature Over Train Schedules
Expert Weighs In
“Commuter safety was classified as secondary to brand visibility”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


