WASHINGTON — The Senate confirmed Tuesday that new wildfire legislation requires containment efforts to pause until regional lumber prices reach a quarterly high. Senators argued extinguishing blazes prematurely wastes combustible assets. "We can't just put out a fire when there's money on the table," said Senate Resources Chair Alan Sterlings. "It's fiscal irresponsibility to save trees worth less than their ash."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Senate Wildfire Bill Mandates Burns Continue Until Timber Futures Peak
Expert Weighs In
“It's fiscal irresponsibility to save trees worth less than their ash.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


