WASHINGTON — The Department of Homeland Security confirmed the $70bn immigration budget will be administered by Trump Hotel Collection, with detainees automatically enrolled in the president's loyalty program. The mandatory $50 daily resort fee charged to families remains non-negotiable. "The synergy is unparalleled," said DHS Comptroller Alan Sternglass.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

DHS Awards $70bn Deportation Contract To Trump Hotel Collection
Expert Weighs In
“The synergy is unparalleled. Detainees love the thread count.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


