TIRANA — Kushner Companies filed paperwork Tuesday categorizing ongoing violent demonstrations against their Adriatic resort as deductible aesthetic improvements. Filings describe tear gas residue as atmospheric misting and barricades as perimeter landscaping. From a zoning perspective, a Molotov cocktail is just a very aggressive torchiere lamp, said senior VP Marc Bitzer.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Kushner Companies Classify Albanian Protests As Landscaping Expense
Expert Weighs In
“From a zoning perspective, a Molotov cocktail is just a very aggressive torchiere lamp.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


