WASHINGTON — The Trump administration confirmed the $300 million in private pledges for the new ballroom were sourced from citizens who failed to return a mailed waiver form declining contribution. Officials stated the default setting for all Americans is 'generous benefactor,' noting that ignorance constitutes binding consent. Opt-out requests must be notarized and delivered by hand.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

White House Clarifies Private Donors Funding Ballroom Are Actually Just Taxpayers Who Forgot To Opt Out
Expert Weighs In
“We assume everyone wants to chip in unless they write us a letter saying they hate beauty.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


