WASHINGTON — The State Department clarified the peace deal with Iran enforces a ceasefire between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. EST, excluding federal holidays. Officials confirmed any ordnance deployed after 5 p.m. will be billed as overtime rather than acts of war. Regional partners were advised to schedule escalations before lunch to avoid union grievances.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
State Department Confirms Ceasefire Valid Only During Eastern Standard Business Hours
Expert Weighs In
“We cannot authorize kinetic activity during the mandated rest period.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
