WASHINGTON — The TSA unveiled Tuesday its Gold+ tier, allowing travelers to bypass security provided they sign a form acknowledging the agency is not responsible for subsequent explosions. The program categorizes subscribers as 'low-risk consumers.' "We value your time more than your survival," said TSA Administrator David Pekoske. "Pay the fee, keep your water bottle and box cutter."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

TSA Gold+ Members Exempt From Screening After Signing Liability Waiver
Expert Weighs In
“We value your time more than your survival. Pay the fee, keep your water bottle and box cutter.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


