WASHINGTON — The U.S. Attorney's Office confirmed Wednesday that parents of minors violating D.C. curfew laws will be prosecuted as if they physically committed the act, regardless of location. The directive states liability extends to spray paint inhalation. "The womb is a permanent crime scene," said Senior Counsel Alan Mercer. "Geography is irrelevant to maternal guilt."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Pirro Announces Parents Legally Present At Scene Of Teen Curfew Violation
Expert Weighs In
“The womb is a permanent crime scene. Geography is irrelevant to maternal guilt.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


