WASHINGTON - The EPA announced Wednesday that clean air standards no longer apply to coal plants, citing data classifying the average American lung as a "heavy-duty particulate trap." Since lungs naturally accumulate carbon, regulating emissions is redundant. "We are aligning frameworks with physiological reality," said Administrator Andrew Wheeler. "Why filter air when the body is designed to store it?"
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

EPA Reclassifies Human Lungs As Industrial Filtration Systems To Bypass Soot Rules
Expert Weighs In
“Why filter air when the body is designed to store it?”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


