The Pentagon confirmed missile strikes proceeded per a calendar invite sent prior to Monday's peace treaty signing. Munitions launch windows were locked by procurement protocols and could not be rescheduled. "We treat diplomatic breakthroughs as tentative pending hard confirmation from ordnance," said Alan Sterris. Diplomats noted the military failed to mark the peace deal as an 'all-day event.'
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Pentagon Confirms Pre-Scheduled Strikes Overrode Peace Treaty Calendar Invite
Expert Weighs In
“We treat diplomatic breakthroughs as tentative pending hard confirmation from ordnance”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


