WASHINGTON — Sen. JD Vance's campaign staff requested the State Department postpone any Iranian military actions until mid-January to avoid conflicting with upcoming donor retreats. Officials stated that while national security is paramount, polling data suggests voters prefer crises resolved during sweeps weeks. "We need the bodies to drop after the caucus, not before," said advisor Matt Schlapp.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Vance Campaign Asks State Department To Schedule Iran Crisis After Iowa
Expert Weighs In
“We need the bodies to drop after the caucus, not before”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


