SANTA CLARA, CA — President Donald Trump confirmed Thursday that his recent negotiations with Intel CEO Lip-Bu Tan hit a snag when Trump realized he had failed to demand the company rebrand its entire product line with his name, calling the omission “a total loser move on my part, frankly.”

“I got the stake, which is huge—maybe the hugest stake anyone’s ever gotten—but I walked out of the room and I said to myself, ‘Donald, you didn’t ask for the chips,’” Trump told reporters during an impromptu press conference in the Oval Office, which had been temporarily redecorated with motherboard samples. “Every single chip should say ‘Trump.’ People open their computers, they see ‘Intel’—boring. They should see ‘Trump Inside.’ It’s branding 101. Very basic stuff.”

The President clarified he has since sent a revised term sheet requiring that all future processor generations, beginning with the upcoming Panther Lake architecture, be etched with a golden facsimile of his signature directly onto the die. Early cost estimates from the Commerce Department suggest the mandatory laser engraving will reduce chip yields by 15%, a figure Trump dismissed as “fake yield news.”

Intel’s fabrication plants in Arizona and Oregon have reportedly paused production while engineers attempt to redesign clean-room protocols to accommodate the new requirement, with one senior process engineer noting anonymously that the President’s requested font size would leave approximately zero nanometers for actual transistors.