BENTONVILLE — Walmart confirmed Tuesday that recent price reductions were implemented solely due to President Trump's direct intervention, though legal counsel classified the event as "force majeure" to avoid branding contamination. Receipts referencing the President's name will be voided at the register.

"We absorb the loss like hail damage. You don't thank the storm," said VP of Loss Prevention Gary Mullins. "We just wait for it to pass."