WASHINGTON — Private Colleges announced Tuesday it interprets the federal mandate requiring graduates to be "better off" as simply meaning "still alive." Since student mortality remains below 100 percent, the institution is fully compliant. "We are seeing significant improvements in our survival metrics," said VP of Regulatory Affairs Mark Lundy. "We consider expiration a default event."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Private Colleges Define 'Better Off' As 'Not Deceased' To Comply With Federal Aid Rule
Expert Weighs In
“We consider expiration a default event.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


