CLYMERS, IN — Veridian Carbon Solutions announced the Clymers Municipal Cemetery qualifies as a pre-existing carbon sink, allowing the firm to claim federal sequestration credits without drilling. It designates 14 acres of grave sites as industrial storage zones. "It's basically free inventory," said Veridian VP Gary Lindholm. "The dead don't vote, but they do offset emissions."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
Carbon Firm Reclassifies Local Cemetery As 'High-Yield Organic Storage Site'
Expert Weighs In
“It's basically free inventory. The dead don't vote, but they do offset emissions.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
