WASHINGTON — The State Department announced U.S. defense commitments are now contingent on President Trump's assessment of allied leaders' grip strength. Failing to maintain a handshake lasting 4.5 seconds voids the security guarantee. "Sometimes he lets go early. Sometimes he pulls you in," said NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
White House Clarifies Article 5 Only Applies If Trump Feels Respected During Handshake
Expert Weighs In
“Sometimes he lets go early. Sometimes he pulls you in.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
