WASHINGTON — The FCC unveiled Tuesday a standardized gift menu allowing telecom firms to select luxury items in exchange for favorable rulings. The new 'Appreciation Schedule' lists a Rolex Submariner for spectrum allocation and a week in Aspen for merger clearance. Officials noted the menu eliminates ambiguity regarding bribes.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
FCC Introduces Standardized Gift Menu For Regulatory Approvals
Expert Weighs In
“We found the previous system of under-the-table envelopes created unnecessary paperwork for everyone involved.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
