WASHINGTON — The Interior Department announced Monday that all federally threatened species must submit a solvency report proving their market value before receiving habitat protections. Officials argued the policy stops subsidizing biological failures. "Nature is a luxury asset class. If they're bankrupt, they're obsolete," said Interior Secretary Bernhardt. Local loggers praised the fiscal responsibility.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
Interior Department Requires Endangered Species To Prove Market Value
Expert Weighs In
“Nature is a luxury asset class. If they're bankrupt, they're obsolete.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
