WASHINGTON — The FAA confirmed Monday it will resume issuing airworthiness certificates based solely on Boeing engineers' verbal assurances and handwritten notes on cocktail napkins. "We found that external verification was actually causing the delays," said FAA Regional Director Alan Moss. "Trust is the strongest composite material." Passengers were urged to pray during takeoff.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

FAA Approves Boeing Self-Certification Protocol Using Honor System
Expert Weighs In
“We found that external verification was actually causing the delays. Trust is the strongest composite material.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


