WASHINGTON — The Interior Department reclassified the Rice's Whale as a "deferred asset" pending cost-benefit analysis against Gulf oil outputs. "We value the species at $4.50 per barrel, which is below market rate," said Bureau of Ocean Energy Management Director Alan Vestry. Biologists refused to adjust the spreadsheet.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Interior Department Reclassifies Rice's Whale As Deferred Asset Pending Oil Analysis
Expert Weighs In
“We value the species at $4.50 per barrel, which is below market rate”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


