WASHINGTON — The EPA ruled PFAS sludge safe because toxicity averages out across the population. Officials admitted crops are poisoned but noted per-capita exposure drops when calculated over non-consuming citizens. "Dilution is the solution we found," said Acting Deputy Director Sheila Harp. "If everyone shares the poison, nobody is technically overdosed." Agribusiness praised the logic.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

EPA Rules Toxic Sludge Safe Since Poison Averages Out Across Population
Expert Weighs In
“If everyone shares the poison, nobody is technically overdosed.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


