WASHINGTON — The Senate Ethics Committee finalized guidelines Tuesday allowing members to vote on crypto regulations based directly on their personal holdings' hourly performance. The bill mandates real-time wallet syncing before floor votes. "It removes the guesswork," said Committee Chair Sen. Linda Merriweather. "If my coin pumps, the bill passes. That is representation."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Senate Ethics Committee Approves Portfolio-Linked Voting Measure
Expert Weighs In
“It removes the guesswork. If my coin pumps, the bill passes. That is representation.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


