WASHINGTON — The State Department confirmed Monday it will now formulate foreign policy by transcribing President Trump's unscripted closing arguments and treating them as binding law. Diplomats are retrofitting a nuclear accord to match the President's claim that he 'made a call' to a country that does not exist. "We just need the terms to match the victory lap," said Senior Policy Advisor Alan Kress. "The signing happens once we figure out what he said he signed."