WASHINGTON — The Council of Economic Advisers announced Monday that overdraft fees and maxed-out credit lines will now count as positive indicators of national optimism. "When a family chooses between heat and food, they are actively investing in thermal resilience," said Senior Adviser Gary Cohn. The bureau will no longer adjust for inflation, citing prices feel higher only when citizens care more.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

White House Reclassifies Financial Desperation As Consumer Confidence
Expert Weighs In
“When a family chooses between heat and food, they are actively investing in thermal resilience”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


