WASHINGTON — Intelligence officials confirmed Wednesday that domestic terror threats will now be evaluated based on the suspect's mortgage interest rate. Adjustable-rate holders pose a 'moderate risk' while foreclosure indicates 'imminent radicalization.' 'Credit defaults correlate strongly with anti-democratic sentiment,' said Acting Director William Pulte.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
White House Declares Mortgage Status Primary Metric For Terror Threat Assessment
Expert Weighs In
“Credit defaults correlate strongly with anti-democratic sentiment”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
