WASHINGTON — The Department of Government Efficiency issued a memo Tuesday reclassifying braking systems across the federal fleet as "optional luxury features" eligible for removal. Administrators noted that momentum is free, while deceleration costs money. Employees were warned that unauthorized stopping constitutes insubordination. Musk called gravity "the real deficit."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
DOGE Reclassifies Vehicle Brakes As Optional Luxury Feature
Expert Weighs In
“Stopping is essentially a tax on motion.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
