Washington — Defense Department confirmed Congress's vote to end the war requires a $4.5 billion restocking fee for unused munitions. Officials stated the resolution covers intent, not ordnance in flight. "Someone has to pay for the missiles we bought," said Pentagon Comptroller Alan Sterris. "Fiscal responsibility dictates we finish what we purchased." Congress adjourned to cash out stock options.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Pentagon Confirms Ceasefire Valid Subject To $4.5 Billion Restocking Fee
Expert Weighs In
“Someone has to pay for the missiles we bought. Fiscal responsibility dictates we finish what we purchased.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


