LONDON — Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor invoiced the Crown Estate Tuesday for "atmospheric displacement" fees caused by his residence at Royal Lodge. The document classifies the air his body occupies as a leased commercial volume. "We must offset the vacuum of dignity," said Senior Liaison Gareth Pritchard. Staff reportedly hold their breath during inspections to avoid accruing billable hours.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor Invoices Crown For Air Displacement Fees
Expert Weighs In
“We must offset the vacuum of dignity,”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


