WASHINGTON — The White House announced Monday that all domestic policy directives will now be ratified exclusively through Truth Social polls lasting fifteen minutes. Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt defended the shift as necessary streamlining. Polls are managed by an intern using a burner phone. Several agencies learned of their defunding when the account posted a thumbs-down icon.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

White House Mandates Truth Social Polls For All Policy Ratification
Expert Weighs In
“We found career staff were slowing down the workflow by requiring legal justification. Now we just go with the vibe.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


