WASHINGTON — The Senate Republican Conference confirmed Monday that committee assignments will now be determined by Donald Trump's most recent Truth Social posts. Members labeled 'losers' must relocate to the coat rack area near the restrooms. Leadership stated the move ensures 'optimal alignment with reality.' Senator Tillis was seen moving his potted plant to the hallway.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
Senate GOP Adopts Seating Chart Based On Trump's Recent Insults
Expert Weighs In
“If he calls you a loser twice, you lose the window seat.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
