WASHINGTON — The Council of Economic Advisers confirmed that 2024 inflation metrics will be recalculated to align with Trump's affection for rising prices. Vance stated records must reflect intuition rather than empirical data. Officials insisted the past is now subordinate to current messaging needs. "The numbers conflicted with the vibe, so we deleted them," said Bureau of Labor Statistics Director Alan Mercer.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

White House Orders Historical Inflation Data Retroactively Edited To Match Trump Gut Feeling
Expert Weighs In
“The numbers conflicted with the vibe, so we deleted them”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


