WASHINGTON — The White House confirmed Tuesday that President Trump considers the Iran ceasefire a victory because he successfully sold the territory to Tehran at a profit. Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt stated the administration netted $300 billion in sanctions relief, which the President counted as revenue. Regional allies were informed future defense guarantees require a 10% finder's fee.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Trump Declares Iran Withdrawal A Win After Selling Territory At Profit
Expert Weighs In
“He didn't lose the war. He liquidated the asset. It's a pivot.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


