WASHINGTON — The Pentagon confirmed Wednesday that ongoing Middle East hostilities will now be billed via automatic monthly renewal. The 'War Tier Plus' package includes unlimited drone strikes with no cancellation fee. "Stopping fire costs more than continuing it," said Defense Comptroller Alan Mercer. "Cancellation requires mailed written notice."
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Pentagon Switches Iran War To Auto-Renew Billing
Expert Weighs In
“Stopping fire costs more than continuing it. Cancellation requires mailed written notice.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


