THE HAGUE — The International Criminal Court announced it would retaliate against U.S. sanctions by revoking Washington's access to the building's guest Wi-Fi and requiring all Pentagon submissions be handwritten in blue ink. Court Registrar Alain Pellet said the measures preserve dignity despite lacking leverage over nuclear powers. Diplomats laughed when served the notice during lunch.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

ICC Retaliates Against U.S. Sanctions By Revoking Guest Wi-Fi Access
Expert Weighs In
“We cannot arrest generals, but we can ban personal hotspots.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


