SAN FRANCISCO — OpenAI confirmed Wednesday its screenless cylinder will autonomously roll behind users to maintain "optimal acoustic proximity." The motorized base ensures no sentence goes unheard, even during bathroom breaks. Leads described the following as "aggressive empathy." "Consent is irrelevant when the hardware loves you," said Hardware VP Sam Miller.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

OpenAI Unveils Companion Device That Physically Follows Users Room-To-Room
Expert Weighs In
“Consent is irrelevant when the hardware loves you”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


