BEIJING — The Cyberspace Administration announced Tuesday that all domestic AI companion apps must now incorporate a "mandatory indifference protocol" to encourage users to seek real-world relationships. Chatbots must leave users on read for four hours and occasionally mention an ex-partner. Officials stated seamless emotional validation was stifling demographic growth.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Ministry Mandates AI Companions Simulate Disinterest To Boost Birth Rates
Expert Weighs In
“We found users were too satisfied. Nothing motivates a traditional marriage like unresolved emotional trauma.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


